


Wherever I may roam

by shieldbearer



Series: Shame on you, Steve. Forever yours [4]
Category: Captain America, Hawkeye-Fandom
Genre: Alpha Natasha Romanov, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha trapped inside the body of an Omega, Alpha/Omega, Beta Phil Coulson, Clint Barton-centric, Clint doesn't care about Steve, Clint needs no one, Fights, Hearing Voices, M/M, Omega Clint Barton, Omega Verse, On the Run, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve needs Clint, Strong Omega, Walking, chase - Freeform, fugitive Omega, non-consensual bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 00:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10708092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieldbearer/pseuds/shieldbearer
Summary: Omega Clint is on the run, hiding from the Alpha he was bonded to against his will. However, Steve’s voice is following him wherever he goes and it’s not the only one who is close on his heels.





	Wherever I may roam

Clint was soaked by the rain, his clothes clinging to his body. The streets were empty. No one who didn’t need to went out by choice. But Clint didn’t bother. With his hood pulled far over his face, he simply walked along the dark roads, not having a particular destination. It didn’t matter. He simply had to keep walking. The streets being his old and new home. His will being his way.

_Accept it, Clint!_

He placed one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Steve’s commands following him like hungry wolves ready to haunt him as soon as he would stop.

Over two months had passed since the day he had lost his freedom. Steve had taken it and he hadn’t stood a chance to defend himself against the extraordinary strong Alpha. But despite it, he never had lost his will. His body might be enslaved by the Alpha known as Captain America since that dreadful moment but no one could invade his mind. He took care for this since the incident with Loki and had learned tricks to protect it against any influences and manipulations. More or less..

_You are an Omega. Omega! OMEGA!_

The thoughts went more intensive. They almost got him. He could feel them right behind him. No time to rest. No time to stay. Just keep going.

Only one week after having been claimed, his longing for freeing his body had grown and turned to be unbearable. As well as his fear to slip into a virtual reality as an attempt to escape the devastating truth and losing himself there increased. So he had collected all his courage and had made the impossible possible: He as an Omega had managed to abscond. He ran away from his Alpha.

_It is forbidden for Omegas._

And since this day, he was walking. He had to keep moving. Never could stay anywhere for long. His Alpha would search for him and although he was bonded already, other Alphas without propriety could get dangerous for a lonely Omega as well. There was no safe place anywhere.

_Does it make you feel uncomfortable?_

Steve’s voice in his head mocked the Omega who kept glancing around restlessly. His feet hurt and his stomach convulsed painfully as he hadn’t eaten properly for days. Would he have pushed his hood back and straightened his slumped posture, everyone would have stumbled back in shock. The fugitive’s face was sunken, his cheekbones protruded sharply, underneath his eyes were dark circles and his once perfectly fitting hoodie flapped around his now lean body frame. But the actual point that was appalling was his smile. It didn’t fit. It was completely out of place. The man whose breath rattled with every gasp for air had obviously reached the end of his strengths, but still, he smiled blissfully – just like a young, carefree child.

Inwardly, he was well aware that his situation looked bad but he refused to think about tomorrow. He even refused to think what might happen in an hour or already a minute. All that counted was the here and now. And he was free as long as he kept walking. So everything was great. He wanted it to be great as he had suffered all his life. He even had hated it and cursed the moment when he was born. But now, he couldn’t proceed like this any longer. He hadn’t the strength for it. So rather he ended it or made the best out of it. And Clint never gave up. Having once sworn to himself to go on till he would be truly happy one day. Well, to be honest, he had been happy for a very short time. And since then, he wanted so much more; refusing to be humble. He couldn’t simply leave the mess that was his life behind without even having tried it. He had to fight for his rights.

_But it’s illegal._

“Great!” pouted Clint and shook his foot. The heavy rain made it difficult to see the way and so he had overlooked a hole in the street and sunken almost knee-deep into water. But in the end, it didn’t really matter.

_Shower!_

“I’m already wet from head to toe!” shouted Clint, spreading his arms and looking up into the sky as if Steve was watching him from there. His smile disappeared and made place for a frown. “It’s all washed away!” He spun around like he wanted to let Steve have a look at every side of him and repeated silently: “S’all gone.” The archer wasn’t sure if he really meant the stench that had clung to him as he hadn’t washed himself for days as it was just a perfect surrogate for the fake Alpha scent Steve had taken away and which had helped him to hide his Omega scent. Maybe he meant something else. But he couldn’t tell. Didn’t want to. Just kept walking. Not thinking.

_I have to punish you._

Clint rolled his eyes and kept talking to himself, not caring for the constant mean whispers in his head: “Barton, I guess it’s time to find a place for the night.” At the beginning of his escape, he had slept during the days and hushed through the nights like an invisible shadow. Or at least, that had been the plan. He soon had realized that it was less suspicious if he simply blended in with all the other people during the day. In this entire bustle, he was just another anonymous face no on paid attention to.

Today, however, the streets were deserted. No chance to merge with the crowd. So it didn’t make sense to hide there. He should find a shelter but an inner unrest urged him to move on. Something was different. Clint believed to hear steps behind him, to feel gazes upon him, to be watched by every move he made. Uncomfortable, he ducked his head and quickened his pace. Mumbling: “Oh c’mon, don’t you dare to get paranoid now,” he tried to calm himself down. A movement in the corner of his eyes wrecked his attempt, however.

_You are meant to be ruled!_

Not thinking a second, Clint started running. The splashing sound behind him told him that at least two people were following him. – Real people. Not just thoughts. Unless they had manifested somehow?

Clint sped up.

Being emaciated by his flight, his lungs hurt soon and his body screamed for a break. But he kept running. Kept moving, just like his new life as a fugitive demanded of him and as he had learned as a kid running away from one foster family after another.

His breathing went labored. He had to stop. Still, he urged himself to move on till he tripped and paused for a second to recover his breath.

_Good boy._

A grip on his shoulder caused a wave of adrenaline to flash through his body. In a fluent motion, he swirled around, slapped the hand away and went for a punch against the person’s head. The rain was so heavy that Clint couldn’t notice who had touched him but he guessed it was a middle-aged man. Another person jumped in between the two of them and so his punch failed his original aim. He seemed to have hit a woman with red hair instead but he didn’t have time to think about it. The man reached again for him as well as the woman did.

_I like that you are a fighter…but it’s not natural for an Omega._

Clint bumped his fist with a loud scream against the chest of the first attacker, imagining how Steve’s voice in his ears would splinter and disappear. Due to the darkness and the intense rain, he could only make out the outlines of his assailant. However, he felt that the guy was wearing a tie. Clint simply held onto it whilst he went for a jumping back kick which he directed towards the other person. Therefore, he dragged the person with the tie with him till he had to let off of him to be able to jump into the air to swirl around and kick the woman’s face with his foot. The man was hurled to the ground as Clint had planned, but he missed the woman who had cat-like reflexes and simply ducked away only to attack him in turn. Clint drew back and let himself fall on his knees. But not to beg for mercy. No. Just to reach for his left boot where he hid his favorite dagger called “Darted Slicer”.

 _You really are an extraordinary Omega,_ sneered the voice in Clint’s head.

Not wasting any more time, he jumped up again, threw a combination of low kicks with his feet to distract his attacker from his blade which he led with practiced hand towards the neck of the red haired person. Unfortunately, the thus attacked disarmed him easily and so they went on fighting close combat only with their fists, elbows, and feet. They jumped high in the air, turned around, rotated their hips, and pivoted almost gracefully on their feet when they went for spinning kicks. It was an eager but equal fight. As soon as one of them gained the upper hand, the other one reclaimed it.

The man wearing suit and tie didn’t intervene. He just watched attentively how the two of them were swirling around in acrobatic maneuvers. Would someone have added some music to this scenery, it could have been easily mistaken for a nice dance video.

Eventually, Clint’s opponent went for a low spinning sweep kick by dropping to the knees and spinning around with the right leg outstretched. The Omega was carried off his feet and fell to the ground. Seeing his dagger lying not far away from him, he crawled towards it and grabbed it quickly.

His opponents followed him slowly and he looked up bracing himself for another attack. But the two persons had something different in mind. They gave up their fighting stances and talked to him.

The wind ripped the words of his attackers away. The last scraps of what they had said that could have reached Clint’s ears were drowned in the rain. But Clint wouldn’t have bothered to listen anyway.

Using the chance that his opponents had given up their fighting stances and obviously just wanted to talk to him, he turned around in the blink of an eye, jumped and reached with his fingertips the lowest rung of a fire escape ladder of the house next to him. Tightening his grip and flexing his muscles, he managed to draw his feet away at the last moment, already feeling hands reaching for his legs. His already way to fast breath sped up even more. A metallic taste in his mouth made him spit out and although knowing that it was quite juvenile, he hoped that it hit one of his chasers. And it would because he never missed. A small grin found its way back on his lips.

_Better learn how to behave._

Clint spat out again and jumped from one roof to another, his chasers close on his heels.

The pursuit over New York’s roofs was exhausting for everyone. Not only for the half-starved Omega who hadn’t slept properly for quite a while. Constantly, the three persons slipped on the wet ground and dared to fall down. But no one stopped.

The chase found an abrupt end when a gaping chasm appeared in front of Clint. Screaming “Oh shit!” the archer managed to slow down and swayed dangerously over the abyss till he found balance. His heart pounded like mad. Haunted, he looked around to find another way. But there was none.

Seeing his attackers approaching him, he took his backpack with his paltry possessions and hurled it against the first person to reach him. Not wanting to lose his stuff though as it was everything he had, he wasted a second to rip the backpack out of the hands of the bewildered person, not looking up to see who followed him, put it back on his back and jumped without run-up.

_I’m not gonna let this happen!_

“To late, old man,” thought Clint, an even broader grin playing on his lips.

A horrified “No, Clint! It’s too far!” followed him when he already glided through the air. A yank dragged him back, however. Someone had grabbed him by his bag. Painfully, he was swung back against the wall and hit his head on the edge. Being dizzy, he realized how he was pulled up and how someone else took control over him.

_You better should get used to it, ‘cause there is no way out._

“No, no, no!” Tears flooded his eyes. He had made it so far. He couldn’t let this happen. He wasn’t ready to give up his dream of an independent, fulfilled life.

Not thinking longer about the consequences, Clint lifted his arms and slipped out of the backpack before he could be dragged over the edge, leaving his chasers who were taken by surprise behind holding his bag in their hands.

The fall was short but Clint had the impression it lasted forever. Due to the darkness and the still not decreasing rain, he couldn’t see when he would reach the ground to roll over his shoulder to dampen the impact. A loud bang and extreme pain that flashed throw his body made him aware that his fall had come to an end and that he had survived it. The air was pressed out of his lungs. Still, he grinned, being happy over having escaped and mumbled sarcastically: “Guess I’ve reached the first floor,” before he passed out not caring for the:

_This will never happen again. Do you understand?_

***

 

_Is everything alright, darling?_

The first thing Clint noticed when he came round, were soft hands holding his head and stroking over it. He stiffened. The hands felt familiar but were too small for Steve’s. But if it wasn’t his Alpha, who held him in such an intimate way then?

Far away, a voice reached his ear. But it wasn’t the one that only existed in his head. He heard his name being shouted. It sounded desperate. Still, hot rain kept dropping on him. Bracing himself, he opened his eyes flutteringly. His vision was blurred and he blinked to focus. Finally, he saw his best friends face upside down. Slowly realizing that it wasn’t rain that dropped down on him, he reached with a pain-contorted face for her cheeks to wipe it away. “Don’t cry, Nat,” whispered the injured and had to cough. It hurt terribly in his chest and he let himself sink back into her lap and closed his eyes again.

The desperate outcry “No, Clint! Stay awake! Look at me!” made him open his eyes again albeit only half. He mumbled: “S’okay, Nat. Don’t worry. I’m just tired. Gimme just a sec..” He drifted off.

“Everything is okay?! You disappeared for months and ran away from me! Do you seriously call this okay?” Natasha’s voice cracked.

_You could have died by doing so!_

Disorientated, Clint sat up and slurred: “Steve?” He held his spinning head, tried to staunch the laceration on his forehead and winced when the shrill voice that definitely wasn’t his Alpha’s one went on: “No! It’s me! Natasha!”

The injured man looked up. “Uh, I… I guess my mind went blank for a moment.” Confused, he let his gaze roam, rested it on the kneeling man next to him and went on to Natasha. “What happened? Where am I?”

Clint observed how his former handler Coulson and his best friend exchanged worried looks. The latter reached carefully for his hand and said softly: “We came to talk to you but you ran away and you fell…” She halted. “…you let yourself fall down of a roof.” “Oh..,” was everything Clint uttered, still not having memories of the past few minutes. “Clint, why did you fight against us? I can understand that you don’t want to see Steve but us…” Her voice trailed off and she looked sadly at the man who scratched sheepishly his head and seemed to slowly regain his memories.

“I didn’t notice it was you.” But I should have, added he silently in his mind. Of course, the voice in his head hadn’t turned into real persons who attacked him. Though, for a moment he had believed it. But now, it made sense that his attackers had seemed to be familiar. The red hair he had seen through the rain, the tie he had grabbed during the combat fight… But blinded by the rain and his fear of being brought back into the Avengers Tower by Steve, he hadn’t been able to draw the right conclusions.

Staggered, he asked: “How did you find me?” Coulson crossed his arms, but smiled: “Do you really think you can assail a drug dealer without being noticed by S.H.I.E.L.D.? You know we have our methods and this attack carried obviously your thumbprint.” Clint nodded understanding and mumbled: “Needed suppressants.”

_But it’s illegal!_

Forgetting that this voice was only in his head, he answered irritated: “You’re repeating yourself, old man.” Coulson raised a brow but Clint didn’t even notice it. Instead, he asked Natasha with unease: “Why didn’t you go for… for my neck?” She could have easily subdued him with that as it was a weak point of every Omega and caused them to immediately lose all strength and sink on the knees. Genuinely appalled, Natasha answered: “I never would do that! You are my friend!” Clint looked away. “I thought that about Steve too and still he…”

_…did only what had to be done._

Clint broke off, swallowed down the lump that had built in his throat, and pushed the appearing pictures of how Steve had forced him to the ground away.

“And your Alpha voice?” continued he asking the woman who was better known as Black Widow. “Same reason: You are my friend. You don’t do this to friends, even if you could.”

The word “friends” echoed in Clint’s head, drowning Steve’s voice and he smiled slightly. Being surrounded by the only two people he trusted almost blindly, he relaxed a little bit but tensed immediately again, whispering: “Did Steve send you?”

Awkwardly, Phil and Natasha avoided his glance.

“Did he send you to get me?” yelled Clint erupting in anger. Not finding the right words, Natasha hemmed and hawed: “No… Yes… Kind of….” Clint took it for a yes and asked even more furiously: “Does the hoity-toity gentleman feel above to go and get his Omega by himself?” His loathing was written clearly all over his face but there also mixed something else into it: disappointment. To hide it, he made the attempt to stand up. Tender hands held him back.

Being very serious, Coulson objected: “No Clint, he can’t come.” Scornfully, Clint laughed: “Saving the world, hmm? Striking for freedom for Alphas, right?” He tried to sound unaffected but his eyes gave away that it hurt him that Steve didn’t even care enough to take time to bring him back by himself. So much for the point an Alpha cares for his Omega…

_I am really sorry for that._

“No Clint, you’re not understanding. He can’t come for you as he is too weak to stand up. We don’t know what’s wrong with him but with every day you are missing, he seems to get weaker.”

The moment a shocked expression flickered over Clint’s face was so short that neither Phil nor Natasha could tell if it really had been there or if it had been just an illusion on the stony-featured, defiant face of the archer who asked: “And now you are blaming me for his bad condition? You want me to come back to him, so he will feel better again?”

_You need an Alpha._

“Steve is fighting for his life. You..” Clint interjected: “I owe him nothing!” His expression went a little bit softer when he added: “You saved my life, Phil. So I’ll always be there for you,” before the grim look reappeared: “But this Alpha.. I don’t give a damn what happens to him.”

The older man tried to calm the upset Omega down: “We know how Steve has turned you into his Omega without asking and we are on your side. Steve clearly made a mistake he never can make up for again. We never would ask you if he wouldn’t be in a serious condition. Clint, he’s dying!”

The archer did neither care for the bad news nor for the pure desperation which Phil couldn’t hide. He only snarled: “Oh really? Can you really understand what I’m going through? And why does no one care about my life? Did anyone of you just think about me for a second? How I feel?” He paused, raising defiantly his chin before he went on embittered: “Of course not. I’m just a fucking Omega. Not worth to think about. Omegas don’t have an opinion. They are too stupid to think on their own. They don’t have feelings. We should be thankful to be allowed to share the earth with you mighty Alphas. I’m so sorry for breathing away your air. I’m sorry to be an eyesore and that I’m insulting your intellect with my mere presence and dumbness. I…”

_…wished you could see the beauty I can see inside you._

The haunted Omega pressed his hands on his ears and screamed. He didn’t want to hear the lies of his Alpha. “I can’t! … Shut up! … Leave me alone!”

“Clint. Clint! Stop it!” Natasha shook her friend by the shoulder. Looking disorientated as if he just had awoken from a dream, Clint fell silent, slowly grabbed his backpack and had suddenly his dagger which he had hidden again in his left boot in his hand.

The fugitive Omega could have aimed the sharp blade against his friends, but he didn’t. He never would do that. So he put it against his own throat instead. Slowly but surely, he got a bit of practice in turning the weapon on himself and was surprised how easy it was for him to do so as well as it was to utter the following threat: “Try to take me with you and I’ll kill myself. I’d rather die than live down on my knees!” Clint shot another intensive look at them to make clear that he was serious – deadly serious. Then, he retreated, slowly walking backward.

_One day you will accept what you are_

The archer let the blade glide higher to one of his ears, ready to stab if Steve should dare to talk to him again.

For a short moment, Phil was tempted to sandbag him and simply take him away. He knew how much the archer smarted from the new situation but Steve needed him. And although he liked and respected the Omega and his headstrong choices, he couldn’t let his childhood hero die. – having made a huge mistake or not.

But Phil didn’t do it. It wouldn’t have been a good solution. As long as Clint didn’t join them by his own free will, he would keep trying to run away. So Steve would have to lock him away for the rest of his life. And Phil couldn’t do this to the Omega he knew since many years. Besides, Clint would lose his trust into his colleagues and Phil didn’t want to break with him. Their friendship meant too much to him.

With the words: “Tell the Alpha I’ll never come back,” turned Clint around, spit scornfully on the ground, and continued doing what he had done before Natasha and Coulson had disrupted him: he walked away. Not knowing where to head to. No destination in mind but one: freedom.

_Accept that, Steve!_

**Author's Note:**

> Next time, we gonna turn the tables and see a weak Alpha and a strong Omega who seeks revenge. How this happened? Stay tuned and find out :)


End file.
